Sunday, 6 November 2011

In Memoriam - A Friend

     Mom was cleaning the cupboards today and I came across my journal from college. Leafing through the pages I relived the best and worst experiences from my college days. One of the saddest entries was on the 30 th of October 2009. I quote it verbatim from my journal -

       " I lost a friend two days earlier. He committed suicide by hanging himself. I do not know why he has done that. I am still grieving. The moment I heard about it, I was shell shocked; My mind could not register the fact that a person who sat beside me many a time, a person I 've shared many experiences with, a person who has always been himself with me and accepted me as I am, is now gone forever. I stood there like a blubbering idiot unable to make sense of the goings on. I cannot even remember exactly what I did then.

      As I was returning to my room, it suddenly hit me, a wave of heart rending, soul crushing grief. All I could do was break down and cry and I did - unabashedly. After that there was a numbness of the mind and a quiet acceptance of the fact that he isn t here anymore. I felt emotionally deadened. I couldn t make myself react to anything for a while.

     I will always remember him and carry with me the memories of a generous and sensitive bloke who was always kind to me. Farewell Raghav. I miss you deeply."

     The reasons for sharing something this personal are twofold. One - to honour the memory of a dear departed friend. Two - to ask everyone reading this to keep a lookout for signs of depression in your friends. It has been two years and I still cannot get over the fact that I noticed nothing wrong prior to the mishap. It was clearer in hindsight - all the subtle signs, the lack of enthusiasm, the forced smiles, the affected bonhomie.

     In today's world of high speed internet and facebook, the thing we re missing out on most is face to face interpersonal interaction. We check our facebook and twitter accounts umpteen times a day but do not call on friends living a few blocks away. We use headphones to drown out the crowds. We can barely be bothered to make small talk with our neighbours. We build walls instead of bridges. Is it any wonder then that some of our friends feel a disconnect? Is it not foreseeable that some of them, especially those uprooted from their sheltered homes for education or employment , feel lonely?

      Reach out to the taciturn and withdrawn people you know. Make the effort. Who knows? You might even save a life.


  1. Rest in peace Raghav Reddy

  2. The curse of urban living.

  3. What with social networking, the no. of "Friends" have increased, but those close to the heart have decreased...