Friday, 30 December 2011

New Year Resolutions of an Inveterate Procrastinator

      When I look back on the year that was, I do have regrets. I regret letting go of great opportunities; I regret wasting time most of all. My life seems to conform to two cardinal laws - Murphy's Law and Parkinson's Law. I have already explained my experience with the former in an earlier post which reads like a Series of Unfortunate Events short story. Parkinson's Law, also called the Procrastinators' credo, is what dictates my day to day life.

      Parkinson's Law states that the amount of time which one has to perform a task is the amount of time it will take to complete the task. So if you wait until the eleventh hour, you will complete it in one hour. ( Of course, the stress causes you to lose sleep, hair and sometimes lucidity of thought and develop a range of physical and psychosomatic illnesses. ) This style of functioning has allowed me to be the consummate slacker, that I am. 

      As I look around, I see sensible people planning everything in advance and leading relatively happy lives while I live in a blissful state of near suspended animation till the last minute and then work at a hazardous pace to meet deadlines and become a nervous wreck. Just because it has all been hunky dory till now does not mean that my habit of putting off important things for later will not come back to bite me in the derriere.

       I have postponed writing this very post four times, so yeah, I have a serious problem. I have to come up with a list of resolutions for this post. For the past five years, my list of resolutions always included doing things on time, exercise regularly, study more and restrict extracurricular reading. I make lists all the time but never follow them. I break resolutions within the first week of the year then make up excuses, rationalise, procrastinate and feel guilty. I then proceed to draw up another to-do list and start the whole circle of laziness, rationalization, self recrimination and guilt all over again.

    Should I just recycle the old ones? NO... 2012 will be better. I will not break any resolutions this year. Why? Because the only resolution I make is that I will not make any resolutions. Hmmm.......Did I just break my resolution the moment I made it???................... Insert Homer Simpson's D'Oh sound effect here.

     Anyway, I wish you all a very Happy and Prosperous New Year.


  1. ha ha ha you sound just like me. happy new year. i like the new look.

  2. bite me in the derriere - ha ha ha you really know how to use good words for bad expressions